The Wallpaper Blunder: How to Leverage Failure as a Thought Leader
Description: Learn why vulnerability is an asset in thought leadership. This article explores how admitting and learning from failures builds trust and fosters engagement. Discover the key principles that turn setbacks into stepping stones for you and your audience. Master the art of relatable, trustworthy leadership.
Bob is planning to wallpaper his living room. His neighbor Susie recently wallpapered her living room, which is the exact same size.
Bob asks Susie, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy?"
"Eight rolls," she tells him.
So Bob buys eight rolls and sets off to wallpaper the living room, but he finishes the job with only five, leaving three wasted rolls.
Bob goes back to Susie.
"Hey - I only needed five rolls to cover the room."
"Oh," Susie replies. "That happened to you, too?"
Why Sharing Failures Builds Trust, Not Weakness
Susie's true failure was not purchasing eight rolls, but letting her friend make the same mistake. We are often reluctant to broadcast our failures for fear of being seen as weak, stupid, or fallible.
By keeping our failures to ourselves, we miss the chance to both teach others and earn their trust.
Numerous studies support the idea that when we admit failure, we actually earn trust, not lose it. In one study, it was discovered that leaders who show humility are associated with more engaged employees and lower turnover.
In a survey by Dale Carnegie Training of over 3000 employees in 13 countries, they found that 81% percent of respondents said that having a leader who will admit to being wrong is important to inspiring them to give their best efforts at work. Unfortunately, only 41% said their supervisors could be trusted do so consistently.
That's a big gap - and not great for leaders who desire trust from their audience or followers.
Still, admitting failure should be done in the right way.
So, how can you as a thought leader admit your failures in a way that bolsters your relationship with your audience, team, customers, or clients?
3 Things All Thought Leaders Do Consistently
When I work with private consulting clients who aspire to thought leadership, I prefer not to teach tactics, or at least not to get too attached to them. Tactics are specific activities tied to specific vehicles, like "Post 3 times per day on Instagram" or "Make a reel every day with captions like this."
People who build businesses or followings using medium-specific tactics run the risk of losing their business overnight when the medium changes the rules.
For example, In 2023, Instagram is crushing many businesses that were largely built on their platform, by switching from a subscriber model where a creator's content is shown to a portion of their hard-won audience, to a TikTok style model, where each post's success is largely independent, evaluated by an algorithm on its own merits regardless of the creator's subscribers.
Tactics vary in effectiveness and are largely dependent on the current platforms and their algorithms.
Instead, I prefer first principles.
First principles are things that are always true, and will always work, regardless of time period or medium.
Accordingly, I believe thought leaders do 3 things:
Make judgments - how do you feel about what has happened?
Make predictions - what do you think will happen next?
Make assertions - what do you believe is true?
Typically these are external facing. But, in the spirit of owning our failures to earn trust and provide value, what if we turned our critical thought leadership lens internal?
Make Judgments: Evaluate Your Own Failures
Thought leaders don't merely pass judgments on industries, trends, or other people. They first scrutinize themselves.
By being your own harshest critic, you create a platform of authenticity.
Let's imagine you're a chef who writes a food blog for parents.
One of your recent recipes received dozens of complaints for the level of difficulty and prep time given the budget, energy, and time constraints of the average family.
"I wanted to introduce families to a gourmet experience right at home, but I missed the mark. The recipe was neither family-friendly nor budget-conscious. What I've learned is that practicality is just as important as flavor when it comes to feeding a family."
Your judgment about your failure serves as publicly taking responsibility.
Make Predictions: What's Next After Failure
Your credibility as a thought leader is further solidified when you can analyze your failures and predict future outcomes.
For example, "During the pandemic, the meals I suggested were often too expensive for my readers. Given what I've learned, I predict that there will be a surge in interest for one-pot, 30-minute meals that make no sacrifice on nutrition or taste."
This shows that you can turn a setback into a foresight, leading your audience into uncharted territories with confidence.
Make Assertions: Drawing Universal Truths from Personal Experiences
Your failures become invaluable when you can draw universal lessons from them.
You might say: "The most cherished family recipes aren't always the ones that impress; they're the ones that work for that particular family's lifestyle."
And if you could add a story about a favorite family recipe from your childhood, reflecting on how fondly you look back on it despite its simplicity, even better.
Failure is a Spectrum, Be Aware
Of course, not all failures are created equal.
If your tech company sustained a data leak or you are a surgeon who botched a surgery that rendered someone paralyzed, consult your PR firm or lawyers before speaking publicly, or perhaps even privately.
The kind of failures I'm talking about in this article are mild or moderate mistakes that didn't royally screw someone over.
What I'm saying is, the worse the failure and greater the damage, the more nuanced you need to be speaking about it in the context of thought leadership.
The Ultimate Win-Win
In thought leadership, vulnerability is not a liability; it's an asset.
We let our guards down, engage, and connect easier when someone is vulnerable. One of my mentors once told me, "Vulnerability begets vulnerability." In other words, if you share openly with someone, they're more likely to share openly with you.
Don't be like Susie and keep your failures hidden, allowing others to make the same mistakes.
Being transparent about your setbacks can break the cycle of repeated mistakes for yourself and others. You turn your failure into a stepping stone, not just for yourself but for everyone who listens to you.
So the next time you find yourself pondering whether to share a failure, remember the Wallpaper Blunder.
Owning your setbacks makes you more relatable and more trustworthy, two critical characteristics we look for in the people we follow.
After all, you can't be a leader if you don't have any followers.
Your Next Step
Ask yourself: What's a recent failure that you felt ashamed or embarrassed about?
Are there any lessons you can pull from that failure, and frame as a self-reflective judgment, prediction, or assertion?
Instead of only sharing the big wins and huge successes that sometimes make us seem unreachable or out of touch, post about it on your platform of choice.
And hey, if that's LinkedIn, tag me @brianmillerspeaks
