Why Even Experts Don't Deliver The Best Talks
“Do you need any help with the fireplace?”, David asks me.
“Nah, I light fires all the time, I got this.”
“Ok, if you need a hand just let me know.”
My family and I have rented a farmhouse for the weekend.
When my wife Patricia tried to show me pictures of the place before we booked it, I just had one thing to ask:
“Does it have a fireplace?”
“It does, yeah.”
“I’m good, then. Go for it.”
As soon as we arrive, David, who manages the property, shows us around and offers to help, but I’m keen to get the fire going so I send him on his way.
I open the fireplace door, place the wood and the kindling, and light it up.
It catches immediately, so I go put some beers on the freezer and get dinner started.
But when I come back 10 minutes later, the fire’s gone out.
“Huh. That’s weird.”
I rearrange the wood and light it again.
“All ok there?”, Patricia asks.
“Yeah, I’m sure it will work this time.”
Two hours later, it still hasn’t. I got a tiny fire going, there’s a pile of embers in the fireplace, but the big logs are just not catching.
By now I’ve run out of kindling and fire starters, and I’m starting to panic.
David pops by again to see if we’ve settled alright, and I wave him over. He looks at what I’m doing and frowns.
“Have you been trying to light the fire with the door open?”
“Yeah. So there’s lots of air coming in.”
“That’s not gonna work. There’s too much air. Also, look here. You’ve got the logs covering the grates at the bottom.”
“Aren’t those just for the ash to fall through?”
“No, that’s where the air comes from.”
He rearranges the logs, moves some of the embers around, and closes the door. Within a few minutes, the thing is a raging inferno.
He gives me a sympathetic smile and leaves.
And that feels exactly like my father’s “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed” speech.
It still sucks 😅
Not all fires are the same
What works to light a fire pit might not work for a barbecue. What works for an open fireplace clearly didn’t work for a closed one.
The pieces are the same, but how you use them makes all the difference in the world.
It’s the same for different types of talks:
A keynote is different than a workshop. A pitch is different than a presentation. And a TED-style talk is different than just about anything else.
Being a subject-matter expert, and sometimes even being a great speaker, are no guarantee that you’ll know what works best for one specific talk.
We do a lot of work with people delivering TED-style talks, and we see this all the time:
They think they need a story… but don’t know which one to tell
They believe it needs to be backed by science… but don’t know how much research to mention and how to describe it
They think it needs to inspire people… so they turn into motivational speakers
Try as you might, that fire is never going to catch 🤷♂️
And those are just three out of dozens of things a speaker needs to consider.
To show you how even one of these elements can be used in completely different ways, let’s take a closer look at stories and some of the assumptions speakers make about them in the context of TED-style talks.
“Every talk needs a story”
That’s almost certainly true. There are a few talks that manage without them, but they
are few and far between.
As I often say, a story doesn’t need to be anything more complicated than a real-life example that makes a point. It’s something that happened to somebody, somewhere, sometime, and you’re using that to make your point.
Can you go a whole talk without any examples? I doubt it. Even if your talk was about a thought experiment, or some abstract theoretical concept, you’ll still need to put the idea into context and show why it’s relevant to the audience. The most engaging and memorable way to do is through stories.
“Every talk needs a personal story”
Well… maybe. Here it depends very much on what we’re calling a “personal story.” If we mean something that happened to you or someone you know, then yes, most talks should tell at least one story like that. That’s because
Two things that are essential to most TED-style speakers are showing empathy and authority.
We need to feel confident that they not only understand whatever problem they are talking about but also know how it feels, and that they have the knowledge and experience to help us solve it.
The most obvious exception (and probably the only one) is for people who are renowned experts in their field. James Clear doesn’t need to prove he understands habits and how to manage them, so he can skip the personal story if he wants to – but his talk might still work better if he doesn’t.
You’re probably not James Clear, so you need that personal story.
“The audience needs to understand my life story”
No, they definitely don’t. Even ignoring the fact that there’s nowhere near enough time in a 10-12 min talk to cover any meaningful part of anyone’s life, TED-style talks are about ideas worth sharing. Your life story is only relevant if it helps the audience understand why an idea matters and how it affects them.
So sharing specific episodes of your life can be absolutely the right approach, but no talk should really be about your “journey.”
“A third of the talk (or half, or most) should be story”
There’s no hard and fast rule here. Every talk is different. But one (very simplified) rule of thumb is this:
If you are an expert, then you might only need a few minutes for one or two stories. That’s because you can back your idea with science and professional experience
If you’re not an expert, you might need to make a “story-based” talk, where your personal experience is the origin and the proof of your idea (even if not a terribly strong one)
Does that feel complicated? Well, that’s because… it is.
But if you dream of speaking on the Red Dot - or are just curious if that’s something to consider - I have something for you:
On December 18th, join Brian Miller and me for a FREE virtual masterclass:
Introduction to the Red Dot: Your 2025 Guide
In this exclusive session, you’ll learn:
The common mistakes that almost guarantee rejection.
The surprising qualities event organisers really look for in applicants.
How to find and craft your own Big Idea statement that stands out.
We’ve guided dozens of speakers from 19 industries across 3 continents to book, write, and deliver the talk of their life.
You could be the next one ;-)
(Can’t make it live? Register in advance to get the replay!)
Note: We are not affiliated with or endorsed by TED Conferences LLC and do not guarantee that anyone will book a talk at a TEDx conference. We simply have aoutstanding track record of supporting clients on their journey to speak at these types of events.
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Learn the essential strategy for opening any talk, presentation, or pitch with impact. This guide explains why typical tactics—like starting with a story, statistic, or question—often fall short, and introduces the “Premise Principle” for engaging your audience from the first sentence with clarity and purpose.